keepin my fingers crossed

I have found an amazing job opportunity and it seems to be a perfect fit. I have my final interview tomorrow, and since I am the only candidate they are bringing back for this job, I am thinking I have a pretty good chance of landing it :) Lets just hope the salary works out as I need it to...

Suprising Progress

After a wonderful weekend in Springfield with my girls, I came home and hopped on the scale. It was quite scary waiting for the magic number to pop up, but when I read it, I was shocked. Somehow, I have dropped another two pounds. I was sure I would have put on a pound or two, but I guess I did make some good choices while i was down there. That brings the grand total to 15. I've freakin lost 15 pounds!!!! I can't believe it. I'm so proud of myself for making the changes in my life that helped me reap these rewards. All of the hard work and effort is so worth it. Yeah for me!

Oh, and the weekend was just fantastic. Of course we frequented the 'box a lot, and had an absolute blast while we were there. I was finally able to enjoy sushi from Haruno....AND IT WAS AMAZING. I finally got to meet Brandi's baby Kenadie. She is ridiculously beautiful and I loved her to death. Brandi is such a wonderful mother; it was awesome to witness. We tried to have a pub crawl of our own, but didn't make it downtown in time to enjoy all of that. After deciding to pass up the long line at Piano Bar, we walked to Icon and pretty much stayed til close. We did some dancing there. No, make that a lot of dancing. So, we didn't get much of a bar variety, but it was because we were just having too much fun. I think it didn't really matter. We were just happy to be together. Eventually we made our way to Billiards to meet up with Hannah's new crew of friends and they were glorious. Then it was back to Hannah's where we played and partied til about 5am. All in all, a wonderful weekend.

ROADTRIP!!!

Tomorrow Katie and I are going down to Springfield for a weekend of fun. I have been trying to get down there for so long...but work or weddings or showers have prevented me from having a free weekend. I am really looking forward to getting away for a few days...I know its just Springfield, but I think I just need some time to unwind and be with my girls. I'm so excited to see Hannah's new house...she is such a grown up now. From the pictures, I know it is beautiful, but I can't wait to enjoy it in person.

So, all I have to do is finish my laundry, pack up some stuff, clean the car (Gus' hair is ALL OVER), and buy some food. I don't wanna kill the diet while I'm there. I figure a few tuna packets and protien bars will help...after all, I finally got over the hump and have now lost 13 lbs. I was stuck at 12 for like 6 days. it was killing me. So, I vow to not let this weekend ruin my accomplishments. I will be enjoying some sushi at Haruno, which is a healthy choice, and I know Katie and I will be visiting Celito Lindo before we head out of town...but other than that, I should be ok :)

I really just can't wait....

Life is good

I have noticed lately that my confidence is back to normal. I didn't realize how different it was til it came back up. I guess I am just getting more comfortable in my own skin. Working out is

making me feel better about myself...and the results are making me smile. A few of my friends have noticed some changes, and the positive reinforcement really helps....and of course my family has been really encouraging. I am happier now and have been having a better time when I have gone out with my friends. Its much easier to enjoy myself when i don't feel so crappy. So, if nothing else, the improvement in my mood is well worth all the work.

down a size :)

this workout stuff is really working!! I was down another two lbs today...making the total loss 12. The other day I went to the mall and bought a pair of jeans. I tried them on in my size, only to realize they were too big and I had to get one size down! It was fantastic. I'm pretty happy with my results...and I'm quite happy with myself for being committed and sticking to it. Good for me!! :) I really like making myself a priority (especially when it leads to me dropping sizes and fitting into clothes i haven't been comfortable wearing for a while)

Oh, and it doesn't hurt that the gym is filled with amazing eye candy....

Making progress.....5 lbs down

I'm guessing my trainer was right on when he said changing my diet to 5 small meals a day would make a big difference. Although it's more time consuming and I'm eating some weird stuff, it's clear my metabolism is up...i already feel different. i am definitely committed. i'm sure these quick results won't be the average, but it's nice for now :) I can say I am proud of myself!

It's nice to actually look forward to getting on the scale....

on my way to a new me...

so, i signed myself up at Rhino Fitness on thursday...not just the monthly membership, but personal training sessions too....and i can't wait to see results. i have worked out the past 3 days now...hey, its a start. i have decided to make myself a priority -FINALLY- and i'm gonna stop my bitching and just do it. i'm sick of looking like hell...and now that recovery from surgery is well over, its about time i got my ass in gear.

so today was my first session with Matt, my trainer, who is hilarious. it's clear we will get along. he already gets me and i think he will be very effective. i already went to the grocery store today and got yummy stuff to help change my diet. now i'm doing 5 small meals a day with the right ratio of protiens/fiber/carbs/yada yada. tomorrow i am going to get some new shoes and some arch support...apparently my right foot has a colapsing arch. who knew?

so, next week the fun starts. training with Matt on tues/thurs. 1 hour of cardio 6 days a week. (i'm hoping that the training will count at least partially on my one hour quota...haha)

wish me luck!!! think skinny thoughts :)

Soooo Bigggg

My lil Gus Gus is officially 1 year old today. Last evening I took him to the beach at the marina and let him play in the water to start the celebration early. It is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. He runs up and down the shoreline OVER and OVER and OVER again. He used to be scared of the water, but now he goes out and plays in it. He tried to be brave and swim...realized he couldn't do that...and scurried up to where he could touch again...I admit that his momma was a lil scared, but I guess he had to learn. He was so worn out from all the running that he pretty much slept all day...but I figured it's his day, and he can do what he wants. When I got home from work I took him to the store and got him Frosty Paws (ice cream for dogs) which he L*O*V*E*D! He seemed to be a fan of the peanut butter flavor cause it was gone in just a few minutes. Of course I got him another toy while I was there....even though I knew it wouldn't last longer than 5 seconds. We have yet to find a toy that he doesn't try to kill...there is no point in getting anything with stuffing...he just tears that out. The so called "indestructible" and "durable" toys were clearly not tested on bulldogs, cause he chews them into pieces immediately. But, since it's his birthday, I got him a lil fat toy and let him tear the crap out of it...stuffing everywhere....squeaker out....nose bit off....ears close to nothing. He had a good time!

So...I think he has had a wonderful 1st year of life filled with lots and lots of love. Happy Birthday Gus Gus!

finding my place...

i have always said i wanted to just go somewhere else...travel the world...start again in a different part of the country....but i have always gotten involved in something or someone which has prevented me from considering that to be an option. so...i'm thinking I am going to expand my job search beyond the St. Louis area. It's not that I want to get out of here, cause i like it a lot...I just know that I won't always have the option to just up and leave. And since my job search around here is going to shit, I figure I may as well expand my horizons :) wish me luck....

ugh

i had myself a good cry today. i have been a lil ball of stress lately. everything seems to be fine, but i think i just need some me time. it could probably a bit of PMS mixed in, but i have just been overwhelmed lately. i guess i just want everything to happen right now. i want a job with a real salary NOW. i want my own place NOW. my patience is running thin and i think i just need a place to sit and be....just by myself. maybe i will just take myself to a park...sit on a blanket out in the grass with a book or maybe a journal to do some writing. if i had my freaking car i would take myself out for a drive with the windows down and the music blaring...Gus in tote of course. (it's still in the shop. going on day 7 now. gotta love my rental dodge ram hemi. it gets GREAT gas mileage!) everything seems to be getting to me lately....

i'm looking forward to my birthday though....maybe i will make an appointment for a massage that day...maybe get my hair done. i think i am in need of doing something good for myself. if nothing else, i'm sure a trip to the mall will serve me well....sometimes it's the best therapy :)

so far, so good

I just love April...probably because I get to spend the whole month looking forward to my birthday!! Even though I am getting older and birthdays don't really matter, it is fun to get excited like I did when I was little. I have been trying to think of things to put on my birthday list...I still want an iPod. I always love new clothes, but what I really want is my own place. I know it will come in due time, but I am just ready for some more space....some space all to myself. Living at home has been wonderful, don't get me wrong. I couldn't ask for better parents...they saved me from a pretty rocky situation. Its just hard to adjust from having a house full of space to yourself to having only a room to yourself (and when you factor Gus in it makes it all the more difficult). So, once I get some money flowing in, I will be on my way to independent life again. Oh, I finally have a job (not a real job though). I am really enjoying J.Bucks and I have a feeling that I will be making some good money. I am still in search of a big girl job, and I have found some options, its just all about hoping they pan through. My plan is to just get rolling with J.Bucks, and then continue to move forward into the real world. At least I have some of my own income again....I have hated not being financially comfortable as I once used to be. It is quite difficult to be dependent again. I have been enjoying my new boy lately. Paul has been nothing but wonderful to me. It is so nice to be adored and appreciated. His smile says it all...

So, all in all, April has started off well :)

feeling splendid

Last weekend was an absolute blast. I took about 100 pics while i was there, most of them being at Skybox, but I am completely ok with that. I just love that place and it was so nice to be back, even for just a bit. I thoroughly enjoyed seeing my favorite regulars...especially the Pecks. I'm so glad David "kicked cancer's ass" as he so happily exclaimed.

I considered going down again this weekend with Josh and Jenni for Josh's lil sis's 21st, but I decided to just stay at home and relax. It would be fun to do St. Patty's down in Springfield again. God knows last year was a good time...at least for Josh and I. Irish car bombs anyone? But I think I can use a weekend of nothingness....just me and Gus.

Home life has been good lately...I have been enjoying hanging out with my high school friends and meeting a few new people along the way :) Although nothing will ever replace Skybox, Monkey Bar and OTP are working their way into my heart :)

T minus 5 and counting

As much as I am lovin being in St. Louie, I am so ready to visit Springfield. It could be that I miss my Katie and my Hannah so much...it's hard to be away from my two very best friends in the world. It could be that I spent 6 wonderful years of my life there and I created so many memories I will cherish the rest of my life. It could be that I miss the bar "where everybody knows your name" and I just need some more Skybox in my life. I know that it is a combination of all of the above, and I cannot wait to spend a good few days in the wonderful world of Springvegas/Springpatch/Springtucky as we have come to call it.

For the past weeks the excitement has started to overcome me. I am almost elated. I have been doing a countdown since it was 10 days away (I felt that it was a little much to start counting down at day 23...haha) I even wanted to start packing a few days ago...then realized I was a little out of my mind and decided to be normal and do it the day before. But I am already in planning mode. I even went to the mall today to buy new clothes like you would if you were going on vacation. I'm hoping it will be my last trip to the mall before I go, but I have a feeling I may just need another thing or two :)

Oh, and if it wasn't already confirmed that Katie and I are two freaking peas in a pod.....well, I had gone to the mall the other day (go figure) and Anne Taylor Loft was having a sale, so of course my feet happened to lead me through the doors and took me to the 75% off sale rack (at least I know how to bargain shop) where I found a cute lil black top among other things. On my way out of the mall, I got a call from Katie...and what do you know...she was on her way to the mall herself. So, I told her to go to Anne Taylor Loft cause of the sale (good friends always pass on news of a good sale). This brings me to today when I got a call from Katie while I was at the mall of course. I told her I was out looking for clothes for my Springfield trip...she laughed...and then told me how excited she was to show me the cutest black top she picked up at Anne Taylor Loft when she was there that day. As she described it to me i just lost it. I was laughing so hard in the middle of H&M cause WE BOUGHT THE SAME FREAKING SHIRT!!! Meant to be....that is all I can say :)

So in a nutshell, I am ready for a reunion. I can't wait to see KiKi and Banana (oh, and Tom Tom) and hopefully I will be able to see some of my other friends while I'm there. My camera is charged and ready to capture the excitement that next weekend will be. See you on Thursday!!!!

sitting, waiting, wishing....

for a J.O.B.

i want a freaking job. i want a job that will pay me what i am worth. i want a job that will pay me in general (apparently some employers think i would work for free). i want a job that will allow me to use my creative juices to do something productive. i worked hard to get where i am....but really i feel like i am nowhere. it's frustrating. i feel like i have hit a wall. i don't know where to look. job search sites SUCK. they don't pull up anything worthwhile...at least not for what i am looking for. i just want to get the ball rolling... i don't wanna do just anything. i want to like my job. at this point, i may just start bartending again and figure it out along the way

cause in the end... a girl just needs some money :)

looking forward...

Life has been grand lately. I have just really been looking forward to what lies next in my life...in every capacity:

• I am excited to start physical therapy tomorrow. I am ready to get my back strong and I am committed to making sure it stays that way. I long for the day I can start to shed these extra pounds I have put on since I am unable to do a full workout...I'm sick of feeling gross and I am ready to feel pretty all over :)


• I am excited to go on a date. I don't remember the last time I went on a date that I didn't initiate myself. Actually...I don't know if that has ever happened in my life. I am just one of those girls who goes after what I want. So it was really nice to be pursued; tomorrow should be a good evening :) that is, as long as the snow storm blowing through doesn't prevent it.


• I am excited for this upcoming weekend. Mardi Gras itself is guaranteed to be a good time, but when you throw in the fact that it will be a sigma/sms reunion it only gets better. So glad to have such fun friends.


• I am excited to finally get this job thing nailed down. It has been frustrating searching...finding I'm either horribly under or over qualified for any position that amuses me. I don't wanna just get a job to have one; I hope it doesn't come down to me having to do that.

All in all...I am excited for the happy days to come....

Oh, and another source of happiness is always Gus...here are some of the latest:

A good start to 07

January has proved to be a good start to the 2007 year. Surgery went well, recovery is going even better, and life in general is just grand. I had an amazing NYE with my college crew, I have had so much fun reuniting with my crew from high school--especially the girls, and I have been really enjoying the fun places that STL has to offer.

my little man

I have been taking pics of Gus lately. i just love the way he poses for me. I can't believe how big he is getting...such a chunker :) He seems to really like it in LSL. I was worried about how he would adapt since he had moved twice in just 2 months, but life happens and he is making it just fine (as is his momma). We have discovered the dog park and I think it may be his most favorite place in the world. He runs with all the big dogs. Plays and plays and plays. Then he makes sure to visit every single person to make sure they love him and of course they always do. I can't believe how well behaved he is around other dogs. I'm so proud!

a beautiful day in my neighborhood

Although the ice storm that came through last night brought some power outages and other problems, it created a beautiful sight for me when I woke up this morning. Sometimes it really is the little things that mean the most. It was quite a risky matter this morning to take these pictures; me falling could be disasterous to my healing. So, I was very careful and my mom worriedly watched. Here are some of the beautiful sights:

Of course I had to include a pic of Gus. I wish I could get rid of the glow in his eyes, but I've tried and it just won't work. I just thought the little icicles hanging off the rail of our deck looked cute, and Gus was really enjoying the fresh air outside today...a perfect combo

It was a success!!!

So yesterday was the big day. I finally went under the knife. I was quite nervous, but decided that would do me no good. So instead, I took every moment in and enjoyed the experience. Every nurse and doctor I came in contact with was amazingly nice to me and I did all that I could to make them laugh. I eventually got known as the girl who giggles. I think that I was the happiest surgery patient these people had ever seen and I hope I provided them a nice change of pace.

The experience itself was quite surreal. I felt like I was on Grey's Anatomy or something; I was just waiting for Dr. McDreamy to come around the corner. He never showed, but there was a fine specimen in the surgery room when I got wheeled in there. And I'm sure he fell in love when he saw me looking all pretty in my hospital gown and hair net. Then they gave me the drugs which they referred to as a "cocktail" and I kept waiting for them to hit. Eventually they said goodnight Allissa...and I was off to lala land. I woke up and was sore, but morphine really helped :) Eventually they had me up and walking, and then I was out the door.

So, now I am recovering at home and I'm doing pretty well. It is difficult to move around, but I am managing. Mom and dad are really helping, and it's so good to have them to help. I am on lots of restrictions, and I'm sure I will soon get bored, but I have a few people coming to visit me, so hopefully that will keep me going. Thank god for good friends :)

it's been so long

so much time has passed since I last posted. So many things have changed in my life. I am home with the folks in STL and loving it. I have had an absolute blast so far--reuniting with my friends from high school and meeting up with my college crew at some sweet places all over STL. It's nice to have a change of scenery...at least a new bar scene has been nice!! Surgery is going to happen in just a few days. I am a little apprehensive and a little excited all at the same time. Life with no pain is just around the corner and I am quite ready to experience it. That is pretty much the only stress in my life right now...well, i no longer have a source of income, and that sucks, but luckily i have a good mom and dad to help me out in that area. Eventually I will enter the real world and earn an income that will allow me to move into big girl status.


Anywho, here are some of my favorite pics from the last few weeks...

me and han at the box

han, me, and kate my 2nd to last night in Springvegas

Fun on graduation night with my chicas

one of my first nights back in STL..we had fun to say the least

New Year's Eve with the girls

Some more fun on NYE